No one’s perfect, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, we’ve all made mistakes in our relationships. But we can certainly learn from them and try to stop making them. These are some don’ts you should avoid if you want to keep the love between you and your person strong.
by Denette Wilford
1.Don’t Make Your Partner Your Entire Life
You don’t need to do everything together or make it all about your partner. Have your own opinion, hobbies and experiences because you can’t lose your identity or your independence; not just for the obvious reasons, but also because you want to stay interesting for him — and yourself.
2. Don’t Compare Your Relationship to Others
We live in a world where other people’s misery and happiness can affect our own state of being. But every relationship is different, not to mention what you see isn’t always what it seems. Just do you and you’ll do fine.
3. Don’t Agree With Everything Your Partner Says
Communication is vital to a healthy relationship but that doesn’t mean you can’t have your own thoughts and opinions. You should feel both heard and appreciated.
4. Don’t Give Up Your Own Values
Always maintain who you are and what you stand for. Being aware of your core values is an amazing thing and will not only strengthen your confidence but also your relationship.
5. Don’t Try to Fix All Their Problems
Everyone needs to vent so instead of trying to solve their problems, focus on what your partner is saying. Sometimes all they want is someone to understand what they’re going through, not a solution.
6. Don’t Be Distracted When Your Partner is Talking
Put away the phone, turn off the TV, close the book. When your person is talking to you, really listen to what they’re saying.
7. Don’t Focus on the Negative
It’s easy to do but if you think about the positive qualities of your partner rather than the flaws, you might see them in a whole new light.
8. Don’t Forget to Thank Them
Instead of saying something out of habit, make sure your expression of gratitude and appreciation is genuine.
9. Don’t Constantly Criticize Them
Part of being in a healthy relationship means supporting and accepting your partner for who they are, without judgment. Belittling them or trying to change them into something they’re not is never good and almost always results in hurt feelings and resentment.
10. Don’t Just Celebrate the Big Things
Sometimes getting the baby to sleep through the night or having a good day at work is worth celebrating.
11. Don’t Assume You Know What Your Partner Means
You might believe you know your significant other inside and out, but that doesn’t always mean you know what they’re thinking. And instead of assuming you do, ask them to clarify so you’re sure.
12. Don’t Keep Things In
If you don’t express your feelings, anger and resentment will build. Relationships aren’t always going to be happy times so be strong enough to handle even the most difficult situations in a healthy manner.
13. Don’t Say ‘Nothing’ When Your Partner Asks What’s Wrong
Maybe one of the most irritating things ever. Just be honest, enough with the games.
14. Don’t Subject Them to the Silent Treatment
It’s childish and it gets you nowhere. Instead of being passive, or passive-aggressive, be honest and direct — and try not to say anything you’ll regret.
15. Don’t Forget to Compromise
Communication is important but compromise is key. Your person needs to know you respect their feelings and desires, that they’re valued and the relationship is a two-way street.
16. Don’t Wait for Them to Apologize First
Sometimes you need to be the bigger person. Suck it up, buttercup.