As times change immensely, it brings new habits, new types of human behavior and views that differ from those we were accustomed to as children.
The generations of today have the latest technological inventions at hand and that’s why they probably spend less time playing, going out or socializing as we used to.
Today’s parents stand in front of bigger challenges than the children of today, because they had not the advantage of modern-day technological advancement.
The main thing today is that the parent’s way of raising their children differs greatly from the past and the results of that type of parent care are the biggest challenges.
Every parent asks the same question of whether their children will become complete; will they fight for what they want? Will their children be polite, will they be able to establish relationships or communication with others in a free and open manner?
Parents are constantly worried whether they are doing the right thing with their children, and whether their children will have prospects for success in future.
Harvard University psychologists went through these questions and came to a realization that there are various key things that are crucial for children whilst they grow up. The crucial factors for raising “decent children” during modern times are not as obscure as you may believe.
Psychologists at Harvard believe that you should do the following five things if you want to raise a “decent child”
- SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOUR KIDS
Physical presence is not enough; you should give yourself to the fullest. No new gadget can replace the time you spend connecting to your child and its needs. If you want your child to adore you and learn to be a kind person you need to be a careful listener and speak to them openly. You should make childhood good enough to be remembered.
Even though children might not be aware, they very much need a person to rely on and speak to about thoughts and experience more than anything else. This is what’s most important.
You can ask them about their day, pay attention to what they say, even discuss the thoughts they are having, however be very cautious with dogmatizing past experiences you’ve had as they need to feel this on their own skin, as mentioned in the article later.
Be open to having fun with them; learn what your children’s favorite things are.
A bedtime story or poem would also be good. Simply try to stick around them and accept their feelings.
Spend some part of your day in playing games together;
Read a book before going to bed, and wait for the whole story to end;
Ask questions about school, friends or classmates
- BE A MORAL EXAMPLE AND ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN TO LOOK UP TO YOU
The environment is a school for children during their younger phase. What they see they become. That’s why you need to always be careful about your behavior and learn to deal with your flaws or errors you make. Your child should see that you are prepared to accept your flaws and know how to work with them.
The efforts you put in building yourself will result in your children. Be fair, honest and caring. This will teach your children the same. It is very important that you discuss things through with your children.
You should acknowledge your errors, particularly those involving your children, and be open to talking about it.
This will teach your children politeness, fairness and modesty. That way your children will feel comfortable and more optimistic when in need for a solution to a problem.
Your children will look at you as a role model if they trust you and respect you. If you achieve this it means that your children understand that humans are flawed too.
Recognize the mistakes you’ve made, say you’re sorry and demonstrate that you want to improve, say that you have no intention of repeating them.
Spend time on your own and gather some strength. You’ll need strength in order to restore your attentiveness and care for others.
- SHOW YOUR CHILDREN THAT THEY SHOULD BE CARING AND SET HIGH MORAL GOALS
Children require socializing and bonding done the right way. If they are fond of other people’s luck and are not selfish, they will prosper in the future.
It is crucial that children learn from parents that being kind and fond of others is very important, say Harvard psychologists, and despite the fact that parents tend to teach their children to be caring, this is not often the case.
So if you’ve set high moral goals for your children, be ready to live up to your word. Show them that they should act right even in difficult situations and try being an example on this. It’s not that complicated, use your behavior to prove your words.
You should always point out to your children that there are certain duties and commitments to be met, from the earliest of age be it homework, responsibilities at home, peers, a promise they’ve made.
Point out that others expect certain things from them and that they should always be prepared to fulfill them, because they are able to do so.
Clarify the idea that your children should both be caring and strive for happiness.
Make them think and look for a most desirable solution to a problem they are having, at school, with friends, in their band.
- INSPIRE THEM TO BE GRATEFUL AND APPRECIATING
Children that aren’t spoiled have no hard time accepting other people in their lives. This is easy for them due to the fact that they appreciate people who surround them.
Grateful people are helping, filled with generosity, conscientious and know how to forgive. They have better prospects for being happy in the future.
Your children should learn from what you do. Always be prepared to show how grateful you are for what they did for you, but be careful, if you are too grateful they will become spoiled.
According to Harvard University researchers, parents should only be rewarding about particular good deeds, not for everyday deeds that are expected from the child.
Inspire your children to practice gratitude every day.
Inspire them to show their love and affection to members of the family, their teachers and other people in their lives. Teach them how to be grateful.
- TEACH CHILDREN TO LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICTURE
Children sympathize and care for the closest family circle or friends, and this is normal; however, the biggest challenges appear when children need to be taught to think and care about people that are not part of that close circle.
The circle that is not the smaller family one may incorporate a new classmate, someone new working at the school or someone who lives in a foreign state. Your children have to be aware of the fact that what they do affects a broader circle.
According to the Harvard study, children are able to pay attention and listen to people in their closer circles, but also to people outside that circle.
Teach your children that other people’s feelings are vulnerable. Provide ideas and examples, and explain situations in which others have had hard times.
Personality is mostly tailored during childhood. This is why parents should pay special attention to children’s development; help them grasp the most important things that make life and allow them to become complete.
Source > curiousmindmagazine.com