It’s not often that two people in a relationship decide at the exact same time that things aren’t working and that they’re going to split. More often than not, one person is still happily in love while the other begins to feel like something about the relationship just isn’t quite right, like their partner just isn’t the one for them. It’s a tough situation.
You see, most people don’t relish the whole breaking up process. Even if you’re kind of over a relationship, you cared about the person at one point, so you don’t want to see them hurting — and a break-up definitely causes a lot of heartbreak. So, sometimes it can be helpful to see the signs of what’s truly going on in your relationship so that if your partner is too chicken to make the move and have the tough conversation with you, you can bring those things up. After all, no one wants to waste time in a relationship that’s going nowhere, where one half of the partnership is completely miserable.
Feeling like things just aren’t quite right in your relationship lately? Here are 15 signs he may have outgrown the relationship and is looking for someone new.
15. He’s Calling You Or Texting You Way Less
Everyone has different lifestyles and schedules — if your partner has the type of job where he’s legitimately not able to check his phone until the end of the work day, you learn to never expect him to call or text you back until he’s all wrapped up for the day. That becomes the norm. However, if your partner’s phone is glued to his hand and he always texts you back within seconds, and then all of a sudden he starts taking hours to respond to a simple message? That’s a big sign that he’s outgrown the relationship and is just trying to distance himself as he tries to figure out what to do and likely how to end things between the two of you. Any major change in habits is a bit of a red flag, to be honest, but this one is particularly noticeable.
14. He Prioritizes His Friends Over You
Every guy needs great guy friends in his life — they fulfill a completely different need in his life than you do. You want your guy to be able to grab a beer with his buddies and watch the game, to talk about things he may not want to talk about with you, etc. Plus, it’s ridiculous to think that two individuals would suddenly lose all their friends and individual interests the moment they decided to become a couple. However, there’s a bit of a balance to be found. If you feel like he’s prioritizing his buddies over his relationship time and time again, that he’ll cancel plans with you in order to watch the game at his friend’s place, that’s a sign. He may be too immature, he may have outgrown the relationship, who knows — the point is, you don’t deserve to be relegated to anyone’s second choice.
13. He’s Planning A Solo Trip
Listen, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with planning a solo trip. Sometimes, it’s great to spend time with yourself, and you may want to travel somewhere that your partner has no interest in. However, in general, someone in a happy relationship will want their partner by their side when they’re heading to a new place — you want to experience the world together, after all. If you used to be the couple that was always traveling together, and all of a sudden your partner is making solo plans to places you’ve always talked about wanting to visit, that’s a huge sign that he’s outgrown the relationship. He still wants to do the things you enjoyed doing together, but for whatever reason, he doesn’t want to do them with you anymore — it’s a pretty clear sign.
12. He Starts Picking Fights Out Of The Blue
Breaking up really, really sucks, and it’s tough to be the one who initiates things. That’s why many people, whether intentionally or not, will start to pick fights when they’re unhappy in their relationship — some part of them is hoping that their partner will do the dirty work and just dump them so they don’t have to worry about it. Or, it could be that if he’s outgrown your relationship and is no longer looking at things with rose-coloured love goggles, he’s just getting increasingly irritated by things he used to overlook or even enjoy about you. Either way, if you’ve always had a relatively conflict-free relationship and all of a sudden he’s picking fights on a daily basis, that’s a huge sign that something is wrong and he’s ready to move on.
11. He Doesn’t Make Plans For The Future That Involve You
Everyone’s relationship is different — some people may go from dating to engaged within the same year, while others may be in a long-term relationship for a decade before the marriage discussion even comes up. However, regardless of what your relationship status is, you should be considering your partner when you think of the future. Sure, you make decisions based on what’s best for you as an individual, but you’re also part of a team — and that means considering your teammate when you daydream about your future life. If your partner seems to forget about you every time he’s talking about his future, that’s a pretty clear sign that he just doesn’t see you as part of it — which means he’s likely outgrown your relationship and just hasn’t had that tough conversation with you yet.
10. He Doesn’t Discuss His Day — Or Care About Yours
When you care about your partner, you want to share things with them, plain and simple. You want to tell them about that crazy thing that happened to you that morning, and you want to hear about what their day was like. It’s just part of being in a relationship — you want to know all about the other person’s life. So, if you find that your partner suddenly stops asking about your day and that his eyes glaze over when you begin talking about it, that may be a sign that he’s outgrown your relationship and is mentally already looking for someone new. Especially if he was formerly an attentive and interested listener — any kind of major change is always cause for concern, and this kind of behaviour is no different.
9. Date Night Is A Thing Of The Past — He Makes Zero Effort
Listen, most guys aren’t exactly the most romantic creatures, which means that you likely shouldn’t expect the kind of date night you may see in the movies. That’s fine. However, if he cares about you, he should still make an effort. It could be as simple as getting movie tickets to that new release you’ve been talking about wanting to see, or seeing if you’d like to grab a coffee on your way to run errands to turn it into a bit of a mini-date. If all of a sudden your guy stops planning any kind of date night activities whatsoever, that’s a bad sign — it’s important to find time in your schedules for date nights, so if he stops trying to do that, he very well may have outgrown the relationship and checked out.
8. He Talks About How He’s Bored (And He Means With You)
It’s natural for relationships to change a bit when two people get more comfortable and settled in a stable, long-term relationship. There aren’t as many firsts anymore once you’ve been together for quite some time, and there’s a good chance you have certain activities you return to time and time again. However, that’s no reason that all the excitement has to be gone from your relationship — even if you find yourself spending date night at the same restaurant every month, you can still make an effort to plan new activities or surprise your partner in some way. If your guy keeps talking about how he’s bored, chances are, he may not mean just bored with life in general — he may mean he’s bored in your relationship and that he’s just outgrown it.
7. He’s Got A Wandering Eye
Some people are naturally just a bit more flirtatious than others — that’s just a part of their personality. However, there’s a limit. If your partner’s eyes are constantly wandering regardless of where you’re at, checking out who else is in the room and who might be available, that’s a huge sign that he may have outgrown your relationship and started looking for someone else — not to mention, it’s majorly insulting! If you feel like that spark has disappeared with your partner and you’re just not feeling it anymore, that’s okay — but be a decent human and break up with them before scoping out what other options are on the market, because that’s just a terrible thing to do to someone. No one wants to feel like they’re just the placeholder while their partner looks for someone better.
6. He’s Losing His Interest In Intimacy With You
Everyone remembers those early stages in a relationship, where the chemistry is just electric and you can’t seem to keep your hands off one another. The physical attraction is just off the charts, and you can’t imagine a world in which you feel differently. Now, for most couples, that electric chemistry from the beginning dulls a little bit over the years into a more stable attraction, but it’s still there — you’re still totally attracted to your partner and want to jump their bones on a regular basis. If your guy has outgrown the relationship, though, you may find that he’s just not interested in intimacy whatsoever. Whether it means your time in the bedroom is impacted or simply that he doesn’t want to hold your hand when you’re in public, it’s an issue.
5. He Desperately Wants ‘Me Time’ — All The Time
This is kind of the same as a guy who wants to hang out with his bros rather than hanging out with you, constantly. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your partner wanting some ‘me time’ every now and then — in fact, it’s healthy! It’s a great opportunity to do the things you love but your partner really doesn’t, and just recharge a little bit. However, there’s a difference between your partner wanting some me time every now and then and your partner wanting me time literally all the time. In the latter situation, it’s not necessarily ‘me time’ that he wants — it’s just time away from you. That’s a pretty clear sign that he’s outgrown the relationship and is looking for someone else. I mean, it’s kind of like the cheesy ‘I’m trying to focus on myself’ break-up excuse.
4. He Starts Comparing You To Other People
Now, no one is saying you should think your partner is literally perfect and can do no wrong, ever — that would be crazy. However, there’s a difference between being critical of certain behaviors, and flat out comparing your partner to others. A lot of the time, when a guy is comparing his partner to someone else in his life, it’s because he wishes she was different — than he was with someone different. At the end of the day, you commit to love your partner for who they are — trying to change your partner, unless it’s a destructive behavior you’re trying to help them with for their own health, is just a bad sign that you need to be with someone else. If you feel like you’re constantly being pinned against other women, it may be because your guy is weighing his options.
3. He Doesn’t Say The L-Word Anymore
Many guys simply aren’t as verbal about their feelings as women are — they don’t love flowery language, and they have a tough time expressing themselves without feeling self-conscious or cheesy. However, if you’ve been in a relationship for a while, there’s a good chance you’ll exchange that meaningful three word phrase — I love you. If your guy has said the L word before, and all of a sudden stops saying it, or starts saying it in a way where you feel like he’s just going through the motions and doesn’t really mean it, that may be a sign that he’s outgrown the relationship and just hasn’t decided what he wants to do quite yet. Communication is an important part of any relationship, so if he starts closing off, that’s a sign.
2. He’s Always Too Busy To Hang Out
We’ve said this over and over again, but we’ll say it one more time — people make time in their lives for the things that are important to them. Sure, some individuals may have a busier schedule than others, but you prioritize the things in your life that matter. So, if your partner seems to be too busy to hang out literally all the time, that may be a sign that he’s outgrown you — he just doesn’t want to make the effort of squeezing you into his schedule anymore. If you know he’s going through a crazy time at work or something like that, cut him a bit of slack at first, but if it becomes a repeat issue, then you know it’s not actually his schedule — he’s just over the relationship.
1. He’s Avoiding You Altogether
This one seems so painfully obvious, but you’d be surprised at the kind of behavior people will ignore when they love their partner. You can turn a blind eye to a lot without even knowing. If your partner seems to be avoiding you for some reason, it’s usually because he’s outgrown the relationship and is looking for a way out without actually having to do the hard work of breaking up with you. Of course, there is the rare occasion where maybe he’s preparing to propose or something and doesn’t want to give his intentions away… but more often than not, he’s avoiding you for a less romantic reason. He may even be sniffing around for another partner behind your back, so make sure your senses are on alert!
Source: The Talko