The phrase the ‘battle of the sexes’ is a rather old concept. Going back almost 400 years to the Restoration era in England, they were still using the same men versus women running gag that features in popular discourse today. The battle of the sexes as a concept ranges from the downright sexist to the somewhat ridiculous.
However, there are times we see a certain breakdown in communication and understanding between members of the opposite sexes. The whole ‘men are from Mars and women from Venus’ business has a basis in a very simple thing.
It is rather obvious to most people that society places certain expectations on men and women. These are determined by the gender of an individual. The societal expectations of men and women vary. What is often missed is that boys and girls are trained to imbibe these expectations and patterns of behavior within themselves since childhood. The problem that arises is that sometimes men and women interacting with each other are unable to cut through the bullshit of society and realize why certain patterns of behavior keep emerging in their prospective partners.
Here then are five sure-shot ways of behaving that girls are taught to be appropriate for them but actually are perfect ingredients to send the men ducking for cover.
1. OVERTHINKING THINGS
Women are taught to give enormous importance to words since they’re kids. They are trained to watch what they say (apart from what they eat). As a result ladies, you have a tendency to overanalyze or overthink everything your man says.
What you need to understand is that the tendency to analyze the possible motivations behind everything someone else says is a tendency that drives men away. Boys are brought up in the exact opposite fashion. They rarely understand the logic of self-censorship and say the first thing that enters their heads. Women, you need to understand that half the time there may not even be any motive to what your beau is saying. Relax.
2. DRAMA QUEEN
Men, like everyone else, want peace. Tantrums are the exact opposite of peace for men. More importantly, they tend to look at the women in their lives to be the source of that peace.
If you’re having problems with him it would make sense to approach the matter calmly and not let your emotions to run away with you. Frankly this is good advice for any situation and actually applies equally to men (a lot more to the jocks).
3. SPEWING NEGATIVITY
Men like to be respected a lot more than they like to be loved. That’s the way they’re raised. Running after success like a dog behind a car is what society has been prepping the boys for. Critiquing him thus chips away at that self-assurance and is a sure shot to drive him away.
“Why don’t you love me anymore?” There is nothing more despairing for a man than to have a heart for a woman and be accused of not loving her. This is an example of negativity. It’s okay; understand that most men are emotionally stunted to a great extent anyway. Walking away rather than getting hit in the face with emotional problems is how they roll, so you might want to keep that in mind.
4. ASKING HIM TO CHANGE
You can’t teach the old dog new tricks. For most humans you meet once they cross the threshold of adulthood, they’re unlikely to change their basic personality. That’s fine. That’s understandable. What is not acceptable though is when women try to change the very person from the core. At some level, you basically say that you never accepted your man for who he is and that’s really going to mess him up.
Expecting the changes and adjustments to come from him, you’re staring at a dead end. Men rarely change and adapt to the people in their lives. People adapt to the men in their lives. It’s the way he is, and barking up that tree serves no purpose for you.
5. MOVING TOO FAST
Give him the space he needs to miss you and desire you. You also need space to ensure that you don’t lose yourself. Don’t get clingy with him. That’s a definite turn-off because men clearly don’t get clingy or dependent. They respect independence in themselves and their lovers.
Men are actually very simple human beings; which means they are significantly different from women. Approach a relationship with them the same way you approach a relationship with that big cat in the zoo you’ve picked the short straw to feed, (especially if your boyfriend is like the author of this article). Keep these things in mind and you’ll avoid a lot of the pitfalls of being in a relationship with a man.
Conversely, if you’re saddled with an** of a boyfriend take this as the quickest guide to getting your life back on track. Good luck!