Getting Over a Relationship that Ended without Closure

Getting Over a Relationship that Ended without Closure

Humans were made in a way that they depend upon building relationships with the people around them. This starts in infancy when we build a relationship with our parents, caregivers and so on and continues throughout life, as we meet and connect with friends, family, and romantic interests. Our need for love and support is what helps us grow as people and it’s what defines us as human beings.

However, as the love for others brings us joy and fulfillment, the loss of the people we love brings us sadness and an empty space in our lives. We can lose a person for a plethora of reasons but whatever the reason, their loss hurts all the same. But the loss that hurts the most is the one that happens without a closure. The closure allows us to accept the fact that that person isn’t in our life anymore, for whatever reason, and lets us move on with our life. We feel like we need to know why and what was the reason behind their exit because without it we feel lost and confused. If we don’t get closure we feel like we’re stuck in a moment in time, unable to move forward and constantly asking ourselves what happened.

Sometimes we get our answers and other times we don’t, but either way, we need to carry on and return to our daily tasks, regardless of how difficult it may be. We find our own answers to how to overcome the anger, the rage, the pain and let go of that person without losing ourselves. If you’re unable to go through this process on your own, here are a few tips which may help you restore your life and carry on.

How to get closure from a relationship that ended without one

Don’t suppress your emotions

You may think that letting yourself feel is the opposite of closure but you’re completely wrong. When a relationship ends you get a flood of contrasting emotions and these help you cope with the fact that you’re no longer with that person. Trying to suppress them is wrong, so don’t do it. You have a right to feel everything and let yourself heal through your emotions.

Give yourself and the other person space

The first thing we want to do when a relationship ends is reached out to our partner and try and find out the reasons why they ended it. However, ending a relationship takes its toll on both people and just as you’re struggling with your emotions the other person is probably struggling with their own as well. Pushing them will only push them further away from you. Instead, give them some space and time to get their feelings and thoughts sorted out. You can try and reach out subtly, but if they refuse you, don’t push it.


It may sound ridiculous, but writing can actually help you channel your emotions and get an emotional release. You can write to the person who left you or simply keep an emotions journal, both things are equally effective. Writing has an amazing therapeutic effect so give it a try. It may just give you the closure you need.

Don’t overanalyze things

Never, ever overanalyze and overthink things. If you can’t help it, try to keep yourself busy by doing something to get your mind off the problem at hand. Trying to figure the why and the how will only drive you crazy because even if you get an answer it won’t change anything. Train your brain to stop searching for answers and simply accept that sometimes we don’t get all the answers.

Bad things happen

And lastly, accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people, and there’s nothing you can do about it. We all lose people and we try to get over it and move on. Don’t take it too personally and don’t let yourself mourn for too long. Accept that simply the relationship ended and that you may never discover why. Life is just like that sometimes and you will survive this. Life will go on and after a while, you won’t even remember that you felt this way.

Written by salmon Berry