Getting married is a huge decision. Aside from the common wedding planning blunders, you’ll need to think about the more important aspects of your future together. You’ll want to arm yourself with all the knowledge you can find prior to making the choice, so here are a few things to ask before the big day.
1. If we both became jobless, what financial resources would we have?
This question is great because it shines some light on your partner’s financial attitudes. Jumping into the question on a worse-case-scenario basis immediately emphasizes the importance of financial competency.
Although it’s scary to imagine a world without any income, it’s good to know what sort of plan might be plausible, given your current financial attitudes.
2. If I became a full-time professional, could you manage to be a full-time parent?
If this is already your situation, reverse the roles. It’s good to know what your partner’s current views are on the possibility of a role reversal. This can give you insights into your partner’s attitudes about child rearing and professional goals.
There is no right answer to this question, but it’s important for both parties to know where the other stands.
3. When was the last time you visited a hospital? Why were you there?
Checking in with the last hospital visit can start a conversation about medical history. It can also provide some insight into the frequency and necessity of visits to the doctor. Rather than ask for all the relevant medical facts, reflecting on recent visits allows for a more natural conversation to occur.
4. When you reach your current goals, can you see yourself developing new dreams?
Being in love with someone who is passionate is great. Setting goals, pursuing dreams and creating new dreams are incredibly important in a successful life. Although nobody can anticipate the details of such a situation, it is important to check in and see if the spark of alternative dreams is still around.
5. What is the craziest s*x experience you can imagine yourself participating in?
This question presses the boundaries of your partner’s s*xual imagination. It is useful to explore this territory in order to explore how comfortable the two of you are in discussing this very private topic.
If you can’t discuss s*xual needs and desires with your lifelong partner, you are likely to struggle in the long run. Prior to marriage, its good to see how open the two of you are.
6. If you could only have one spiritual need met, what would it be?
It’s valuable to know what your partner’s spiritual needs are. Spirituality need not be satisfied in a church, either. Things as ordinary as playing video games can have spiritual meaning to people.
It’s not always easy to recognize what is more important to one’s spiritual side, so starting a conversation about it is critical prior to marriage.
7. Which of my friends deserves the most respect and why?
Friends are an important part of our lives. This question focuses on our partner’s attitude about our friends and whether any of those relationships can have a foundation of respect. Although we may not always get along with our partner’s friends, it is important to maintain a level of respect.