Those of us who have experienced relationship know that they are anything but easy. It’s difficult dealing with someone so close to you and even more difficult when there seems to be a gap between you. Men are notorious for not being as affectionate as the women in their life wish they were.
However, instead of wishing, you could actually do something to pull your relationship out of this funk! Simply follow any of the tips below that come most easily to you. It may take some effort, but there’s no harm in trying in order to get some of that sweet romance!
Time does a lot to strengthen a relationship, but it can lower the physical factor. If your man loves you, you can definitely use the above techniques to make him affectionate too. Hopefully, this would leave both of you more in love than ever.
1. Tell Him Your Needs
There’s no need to hide the fact that you need more physical or emotional affection. He is the most important person in your life, or one of them anyway. So sit him down and let him know just what you want and in what kind of ways. His idea of affection may be bringing home the groceries. Try to work with that and suggest how he could make things a bit more romantic. For instance, the two of you could meet happily with a hug before you start putting away the groceries together.
When you do express your needs, use yourself as the point of focus. Don’t talk about what he does or doesn’t do. Use examples from his positive actions, but keep the conversation mostly about yourself. This would prevent any chance of his feeling attacked or criticized.
2. Give it Time
If your relationship is just settling down, don’t get worried at the declining affection. You would not only need time but also a lot of patience to foster a truly affectionate bond. There’s no need for fireworks to be going off any minute of the day. If you expect them, you’re out of luck. It’s not going to happen in real life.
It may just be that your man just needs to time to make sense of things. He may be settling down in life, especially if the two of you have just settled down. If you try to rush things too much, he may take flight instead of being comfortable where he is.
3. Be Flirty
Once you’ve got him, it may seem redundant to engage in flirting. This is because flirting is usually done when you want to catch someone’s attention. If you two are in a relationship, you obviously have his attention already.
However, do not underestimate the power of flirting with your significant other. This could add a thrill and spice to your bond in a fun and easy manner! Plus it would show him just what a treasure he’s got! He would not only have more fun with you but get excited at the thought of meeting you every day. There would be a freshness in your relationship that would be apparent even after years of being together.
4. Talk it Out
If you are feeling a gap in the supply and demand of affection, don’t hesitate to call a meeting. Sit him down, put away the phones, and engage in a good old heart-to-heart. If you’re long-distance, ask for a video chat instead of relying on text messages. You need to look into his eyes and tell him that there’s something missing.
Too little affection can drive one crazy with second-guessing and general stress. Spare yourself the negative effects and simply let him know what you need. You may also try just talking about yourself and your relationship more. Don’t keep the conversation to everyday things. Make it as romantic and intimate as possible, along with discussing what’s important to both of you.
5. No Getting Personal
Couples fight; there’s no getting around it. However, keep his respect intact even when you’re really incensed at him. If you really care and want the relationship to continue, don’t target his weak spots.
For instance, he may have a complex about his weight. When you two argue, don’t stoop to the level of taunting him on this area. Not only is it a very petty and mean thing to do, but it would also eventually turn him off you.
6. Understand and Sympathize
Your significant other may not be affectionate now, so don’t expect them to change overnight. You may have to give it a few weeks or even months of effort. You may want them to be more obvious in their romance, and they may feel like they do enough. Either party could stand to get hurt if the two of you are impatient.
If he seems to be making a bit of progress after some time, celebrate his efforts. He may make some bumbling and even cheesy performance that makes you laugh on the inside. However, be sure to keep your mirth hidden from him! Even if he brings you ugly plastic flowers, it’s still a step up from none. If he messes up and brings the wrong kind of chocolate, show understanding and appreciate the step. He would remember this reaction and strive to do better in the future.
7. The Intelligence Factor
Gone are the days when men simply wanted a blond bimbo who would hang on to their every word. Acting dumb may still work with some men, but we firmly believe that such men are not worth pursuing. Hence, tone down the superficiality of your relationship as much as possible.
Hence, go beyond the baby talk and seek out some intelligent conversation. There’s no harm in having inside jokes, but you should also discuss what’s happening around you. Don’t always go for reality shows and celebrity gossip as a topic of conversation. Watch the news and discuss it with him or simply share your ideas for a business, volunteer work, etc. This would greatly help in fostering a good connection and making him more attracted to you.
8. Give and Take
Remember; if you want affection, you would have to give it too. You can’t just huddle in a corner and hope that he’d come walking with his arms stretched out. Body language counts for a lot. If he’s a decent guy, he would take your tense body as a sign to back off. So loosen up and don’t be afraid to shower him with your love every now and then.
If you’re out of ideas on how to show affection, go to the source! Ask your guy what he would like you to do in order to show your love. Many men don’t really go for the flowers and chocolate deal. You can write him letters, leave little notes, or just be sure to hug him when you two meet. These little gestures can go a long way in making both of you feel very much loved. Reciprocation would then be just around the corner.
9. Learn All Y0u Can
Your partner is not an open book, nor can he read your mind. You need to understand that controlling someone else’s thoughts and desires is not the way to gain true affection. If you try to have the upper hand in this aspect of your relationship, it’s probably not going to end well.
Loving someone and giving them physical affection is something that comes from an open heart. Connect with your partner; get to know him instead of just wishing he could give you something more.
10. Give Him Compliments
Women usually wait for compliments to be showered upon them. However, we should realize that men need compliments just as much as we do. If he’s looking especially dapper one evening, let him know. You could also just compliment him on his rugged looks at any time of the day! This would add to your flirting, plus generally make him feel warmer and happier.
Moreover, you can also compliment him on his efforts in being affectionate. Don’t just take his hugs and cuddle for granted. Acknowledge them whenever you can, and you would surely get more of them! Positive reinforcement goes a long way! It would make him feel easier in showing his love in public or in private.
11. Hold Yourself Back
We all strive to get the best in life. Make yourself the best for him, and make him work to earn you! No one buys a secondhand car without the dream of having a luxury vehicle someday. If you rent a small apartment, you surely dream of living in a better place and work towards it. Like it or not, people and relationships are somewhat the same. Be the trophy he has to struggle to win, and not just automatically get by virtue of his wealth or popularity.
Simply put; don’t take yourself too easy to get. Don’t just fall into his lap the moment he gives you attention. Stay a little aloof, at least when you’re in the courting phase. Additionally, don’t be available for just any guy. Stick with your values, and, most importantly, your self-respect. The more you treasure yourself, the more he would know how important you are to him. From there, the affection and attention would never cease!
12. Freedom Counts
This one is simple. He may want to give affection, but simply not get the chance! Are you planning out your anniversary by yourself? Don’t make everything a surprise, but let him pitch in as well! Don’t try to upstage him, but work together as a team.
Giving men a chance to show their love and affection is sometimes all you have to do. You may be blown away by the romantic hidden inside him!
13. Be a Translator
You and your partner may be destined for each other, but you are still two different people. Every person shows and acts out love in different ways and degrees. You may want to spend more time with him in public, while he would rather relax with you at home. Neither way is better or worse than the other, and understanding different needs is the key to displaying love and affection.
When your partner wants to do something different from what you want, see if this is his way of showing affection. By understanding this, both of you can enjoy each other’s company all the more. Who knows, you may have been getting the affection you crave in an unexpected manner all along!
14. Flash Those Whites
In many cases, simply smiling more could immensely warm his feelings towards you. Smile when you see him; smile when he does something cute; smile when he expresses himself. This would make him feel better whenever you’re around.
Smiling could lead to the people around you feeling happier and more content. If he feels the same way, he would definitely end up being more affectionate with a smiling you. Of course, make sure you smile at the right moments, not when he’s experienced a tragedy or a serious setback.
15. The Gift of Praise
Everyone loves to get praise when they’ve accomplished something. Your guy could get excited about getting a promotion or just winning an online game. Whatever the case; don’t roll your eyes or patronize him with just a smile. Share in his excitement and give him the praise he’s looking for! Of course, if you want to discourage a serious addiction, you may want to tone it down. However, belittling his interests and achievements would only drive him further away from you.
Once he knows that he has you as his support and well-wisher no matter what, he would hopefully become affectionate. At the very least, he would have more intense feelings for you, as you are the one who inspires him every day!
16. No Doubting Yourself
Do you want more affection? Don’t second-guess yourself! It’s perfectly natural to want a little physical interaction just for romance’s sake. If your partner is not the same, it doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you.
So there’s no need to be afraid of telling him that you need more affection. It may just be that he doesn’t know what to do to show his love best. Couples can ask each other for more intimacy and closeness. Be confident in divulging your desires and it would probably make your partner appreciate you all the more.
17. Enjoy Your Bond!
If you want his affection, enjoy what you two share at the moment. Men usually don’t engage in displays of affection with anyone else. Women may touch their loved ones in all kinds of ways, but men usually find it hard to do so.
Hence, don’t expect a hug and kiss when you get together in public. Enjoy the attention he gives you, and let him know that you notice them. This could then lead to him upping his game to make you even happier.
18. Zip Your Lip
If he tells you a secret, guard it with your life. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s important or not; don’t discuss it with your friends and family. No matter how close you are to his mother, there are some things he may want to keep from her. Hence, refrain from discussing his personal matters with anyone outside of you two.
He would definitely appreciate this and feel all the more safe with you. You would become his best friend and confidante as well as his significant other. Emotional attachment counts for a lot when showing physical affection.
19. Be Grateful
You’re human, and so is he. Don’t expect to be swept off your feet every time he comes around. Sometimes, getting the affection you wish for can be as simple as lowering your expectations. Learn to be grateful for the little happy meets you enjoy with him, instead of expecting a huge adventure. A moonlit walk can be just as romantic as an expensive vacation.
We shouldn’t forget to thank our partners for what they give us, be it a wonderful date or a single rose. Once you show that you’re grateful for the little things, they would gradually increase and fulfill you.
20. Be the Comfort and Safety
When both of you meet each other at the end of the day, give him time to relax. You should also have some breathing space for winding down. Sure, there are a lot of things to be done but don’t start on them right away. If you start nagging the minute he or you comes home, he may avoid being home altogether.
Moreover, try to give him as safe a space as possible. He should be able to share his fear, hopes, and even failures with you without fear of being judged. This kind of safety would have him yearning to cuddle into you when he’s feeling down. Soon, this would become a habit and you both would find immense comfort in each other’s arms.